Ken La Salle — Nearly 30 years ago, Monty Python brought forth a song sung, and repeated to this day, to remind us exactly why Michael Palin (or someone who looked just like him) had to send his thousands of children away for medical experiments. After all, as a Catholic, he couldn’t wear one of those little rubber thingies and so he kept impregnating Terry Jones. (Python propagation is a confusing thing.)

“Every sperm is sacred,” it told us. And when we wasted said sperm, this important ditty reminded us that “God gets quite irate.” After all, according to the Humanae Vitae, the encyclical written by Pope Paul VI in 1968, the Catholic Church (that being the voice of GOD on planet earth) strictly excluded “every action which, either in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible.” That means, among other things, condoms. It was this encyclical that made this song possible and, heck, with the exception of millions of transmitted diseases and unwanted children, who could argue with that?

And then, Pope Benedict XVI put his foot in some time back and ruined one of Monty Pythons greatest songs! Just ruined it! Now, according to Pope Bennie, condoms can “be a first step on the way to another, more humane sexuality.”And a saddened world resigned itself to “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life.”

Of course, this isn’t the first time the Catholic Church has changed its eternal, unbendable, laws given to them by the almighty, unchangeable God they profess to represent. Condoms join married priests, babies in limbo, the forbidden hot dog on Friday, and many other changes over the years as those immutable laws from God that were… well muted.

The Catholic Church isn’t alone in this. When the Protestants want something changed, they form a new denomination, thus propelling the popularity of Protestantism. That was Martin Luther’s point after all, wasn’t it? Christians aren’t alone, either. All of the religions of the world have changed over the years, from Buddhists to Hindus to Jews to Muslims (alphabetically). And what of the religions that existed before the modern ones? Those, too, changed. They changed so much, in fact, that we now call them “myths”.

So, then, why all the dogma? Why all the emphasis on “eternal” rules, most of which are said to be given directly by GOD… and then changed anyway? What’s the point in believing your religion that is handed down from an almighty, all-powerful entity who will cast you into eternal hell and damnation if you don’t keep his laws if those laws are going to change in a week?

The thing is, there is no point. Consider this, someone contracted a severe venereal disease on this planet last week because they knew GOD would cast them into the fiery pits of hell if they wore a condom. If they had only waited a week, they’d be going to heaven… and they’d have a whole lot fewer warts. A child, unwanted or unable to be fed, was born into material or emotional poverty (or both) for want of adequate birth control. Too bad the Catholic Church hadn’t changed their eternal, unbreakable rules back then.

More importantly, though, we’d still have one of the best song and dance numbers the Pythons ever put together, the showpiece to The Meaning of Life (right up there with Mr. Creosote)! And isn’t that what’s most important, after all?

 

About the Author

You can find out more about Ken La Salle at www.kenlasalle.com. Climbing Maya, An Exploration Into Success by Ken La Salle is now available from all major e-tailers by Solstice Publishing. You can also find The Worth of Dreams/The Value of Dreamers, a compilation of Ken La Salle’s first year with Recovering the Self with plenty of bonus content, available as an e-book from all major e-tailers and coming soon as an audio book.

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